JACK BAUER HATES 'HEROES'
I’ll be the first to admit it. After sitting through NBC’s upfront last May, my first thought went something like this:“Ha! Heroes? I give it two weeks tops.”
Needless to say, I’m a programming genius.
So I watched the pilot in September and was pleasantly surprised to find that the show had potential. It was certainly intriguing and definitely wasn’t what I had been calling it all summer – “just what NBC needs: another Surface.”
I was drawn by the mystery … the conspiracy … Ali Larter in a thong. What wasn’t to like about this show? By the time November rolled around, NBC was incessantly insisting, “Save the Cheerleader. Save the World.” Well, the Heroes saved the cheerleader – and, I rightly assumed, the world. So what’s left to watch, right? That time-traveling schmuck Hiro, who shrieks like a 9-year-old girl, back at his desk job, bending neither space nor time? Simply put, I decided it was a good time to leave the party.
Now the Heroes have returned – to take on Jack Bauer. On Mondays at 9/8c. And you don’t fuck with Jack Bauer.
Apparently Heroes hasn’t finished discovering all the people who possess amazing powers across the globe. I just crapped my pants with excitement, didn’t you? (Seriously, we don’t need another Hero, okay?)
NBC has even cooked up a new catchphrase for Heroes’ return: “Are you on the list?” No. No, I’m not on the list.
Monday night marked the first battle between Heroes and 24 on Monday nights. 24 has inhabited the 9/8c timeslot since its 2005 Season 4 debut.
And Heroes won the first battle. In fact, the NBC freshman phenom earned a 6.5 rating among adults 18 to 49, compared to 24’s 5.4. 24 was down about 9 percent from last season’s fifth hour. Overall, Heroes scored 14.9 million viewers, while 24 trailed closely behind with 14.47 million.
And even though Prison Break scored its highest rating this season to date at 8/7c, NBC’s Deal or No Deal crushed the return of the Fox serial among 18-49 year-olds. 17.6 million viewers tuned in to watch Howie Friggin’ Mandel, while only 9.9 million watched Prison Break.
If you watched Howie Mandel over Michael Scoffield, I would suggest seeking psychiatric help. If you watched Hiro over Jack Bauer, you’re just a total nerd.
If there's any consolation here, it's that Heroes will probably burn out faster than Lost did. And if these losers think they’ve got a problem with "Skylar," they haven’t met Jack Bauer yet. He doesn't time travel. He doesn't fly. He doesn't even go to the bathroom. But he is going to kick all your candy asses.
Needless to say, I’m a programming genius.
So I watched the pilot in September and was pleasantly surprised to find that the show had potential. It was certainly intriguing and definitely wasn’t what I had been calling it all summer – “just what NBC needs: another Surface.”
I was drawn by the mystery … the conspiracy … Ali Larter in a thong. What wasn’t to like about this show? By the time November rolled around, NBC was incessantly insisting, “Save the Cheerleader. Save the World.” Well, the Heroes saved the cheerleader – and, I rightly assumed, the world. So what’s left to watch, right? That time-traveling schmuck Hiro, who shrieks like a 9-year-old girl, back at his desk job, bending neither space nor time? Simply put, I decided it was a good time to leave the party.
Now the Heroes have returned – to take on Jack Bauer. On Mondays at 9/8c. And you don’t fuck with Jack Bauer.
Apparently Heroes hasn’t finished discovering all the people who possess amazing powers across the globe. I just crapped my pants with excitement, didn’t you? (Seriously, we don’t need another Hero, okay?)
NBC has even cooked up a new catchphrase for Heroes’ return: “Are you on the list?” No. No, I’m not on the list.
Monday night marked the first battle between Heroes and 24 on Monday nights. 24 has inhabited the 9/8c timeslot since its 2005 Season 4 debut.
And Heroes won the first battle. In fact, the NBC freshman phenom earned a 6.5 rating among adults 18 to 49, compared to 24’s 5.4. 24 was down about 9 percent from last season’s fifth hour. Overall, Heroes scored 14.9 million viewers, while 24 trailed closely behind with 14.47 million.
And even though Prison Break scored its highest rating this season to date at 8/7c, NBC’s Deal or No Deal crushed the return of the Fox serial among 18-49 year-olds. 17.6 million viewers tuned in to watch Howie Friggin’ Mandel, while only 9.9 million watched Prison Break.
If you watched Howie Mandel over Michael Scoffield, I would suggest seeking psychiatric help. If you watched Hiro over Jack Bauer, you’re just a total nerd.
If there's any consolation here, it's that Heroes will probably burn out faster than Lost did. And if these losers think they’ve got a problem with "Skylar," they haven’t met Jack Bauer yet. He doesn't time travel. He doesn't fly. He doesn't even go to the bathroom. But he is going to kick all your candy asses.
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