10:00 AM - 11:00 AM "O BROTHER, WHERE ART THOU?"

10:02 Anchor announces, “The unthinkable has happened. Terrorists have exploded a nuclear bomb on our soil.” Unthinkable? Right … Unless, you “think” about that time four seasons ago – when terrorists exploded a nuclear bomb on our soil. Sure, it was in the Mohave, but that was a REAL nuke – not one of these pussy suitcase nukes.

10:04 Secret Service moves President Palmer and staff into the White House bunker and mention the VP. Who’s the VP? Heller? Novick? Any guesses?

10:05 The bunker is locked down. Karen immediately calls Bill on her phone. Her cell phone. What service does she use? Because it’s not fucking Sprint. She’s using her phone 500 feet underground, and I can’t get a damn signal in my apartment.

10:06 Chloe asks Morris, “Why do people I know keep dying?” Because you work at CTU, dumbass. Did you know where you were applying when you took the job? You’re not exactly making parfaits at TCBY, babe.

10:11 Helicopter has crashed into somebody’s roof after being hit by a shockwave. Awesome. Jack saves one of the pilots before the chopper crashes to the ground in this episode’s obligatory explosion sequence. I swear there must be money in every show’s budget for at least one fiery explosion. That’s the only way to explain this one. Completely unnecessary. And badass.

Jack calls Bill to tell him he’s back in. Because nothing pisses Jack off more than a nuclear bomb in Los Angeles. Four episodes in and he still hasn’t asked someone to find Kim to make sure she’s okay. Good sign for the season.

10:17 RECYCLED PLOT ALERT: One of the Admirals advises Wayne to bomb the living daylights out of every Middle Eastern country following the nuclear blast. Writers treading dangerously close to primary Season 2 plotline.

Lennox earns major points, busting the Admiral’s balls. “The President is talking Admiral. Do not interrupt.”

10:18 Fayed looks ominously toward the back of his van at the four suitcases. Leading me to believe that all four nukes are in L.A. – and not dispersed throughout the country. Totally lame.

By the way … Six seasons. Four attempted presidential assassination attempts. Six nuclear bombs. Two nuclear missiles. One nuclear power plant meltdown. One weaponized virus. 19 canisters of nerve gas. Hasn’t anyone learned by now to get the hell out of L.A.?

10:26 One of Fayed’s associates, a Russian general Dmitri Gredenko, has a contact with Jack’s father Phillip. Is there any way Jack isn’t connected to terrorists?

10:29 Sandra Palmer continues bugging the FBI agents attempting to extract intelligence from the terrorist cell imprisoned in the detention center.

And the Most Annoying New Character of the Season goes to … Sandra Palmer! For your constant nagging, irritating badgering, and tireless efforts to annoy the hell out of both FBI agents and viewers across the country, congratulations Sandra!

SANDRA: Thank you so much, I’m Gonna Need A Hacksaw! I can’t believe this. It’s just a dream come true. To win this award up against such incredible competition like Morris and Milo and Kim. I know she’s not even in this season, but was still nominated anyway, so it’s such an honor. Thank you, thank you. And remember, fight for your rights. Join the ACLU!

10:32 Who is this Sam fellow? Jack seems awfully happy to speak with him. His father’s assistant I guess … And Liddy? Apparently the head of his father’s security. Something tells me this guy doesn’t work for ADT.

10:33 Holy shit. “Graem” is Jack’s brother? But … he … gave him up to the Chinese last year. Talk about your Evil Twin.

My favorite feature on Fox’s 24 website this morning is a Poll Question for viewers:

DID YOU REMEMBER GRAEM FROM SEASON 5?

YES! BLUETOOTH GUY!
NO, WHO IS GRAEM?

10:41 After getting a phone call from Jack, “Gray” informs his wife Marilyn that Jack is still alive. “You weren’t over Jack when we got married.” So Jack was with his wife before Teri? And then Gray lapped up Jack’s sloppy seconds? What a wiener …

10:42 Australian dude Darren McCarthy is working fast and furious to get Fayed a new triggerman and a new detonator for his four other nukes. Picks up his floozy girlfriend on a sidewalk and tells her they’re not leaving L.A. to escape the nuclear fallout. Obviously going for that coveted Boyfriend of the Year Award …

10:50 Nadia tells Bill she believes Assad wants peace. Yeah, a “piece” of her ass maybe. These two are totally in cahoots. He’ll be back. That was way too easy.

10:52 FBI agent tells Sandra, “It’s probably not the best thing you’re here.” No kidding.

10:53 Frightening terrorist dude tells Walid that he doesn’t know Fayed. But they knew about the four other nukes. There’s a connection here. Probably just working through one of Fayed’s men – or Assad? Hmmmm …

10:54 Gray greets Jack with one of the most awkward hugs I’ve ever seen. I guess that’s what happens when your brother steals your girlfriend, tries to have you murdered, and gives you up to the Chinese for dead.

Gray’s blond-haired son comes sauntering in to say hello to “Uncle Jack.” Sure. The kid is so obviously Jack’s the writers might as well have him wear a t-shirt that says “Jack’s Son” with a big yellow smiley face. So Jack impregnated Marilyn, went off to war, was presumed dead during the Drazen mission in Kosovo, Gray moved in, stole her away and married her while she was carrying Jack’s child. Wha wha whaaaaa?

10:56 Jack punches Gray in the nose, ties him up to a chair, and rips out some lamp chords to give him the old electrical shock treatment.

10:58 Wayne sits down in his Oval Office set to deliver his address to the nation. Awesome bunker set overall. I doubt the real White House bunker is this cool. Probably just some card tables and folding chairs.

10:59 Classic Jack Line of the Night:

GRAY: “You’re hurting me.”
JACK: “Trust me, I’m not.”

Ahhhh, the switcheroo. Jack pulls the ole plastic bag trick. Creepy. Creepy cool.

10:59:58 … 10:59:59 … 11:00:00