11:00 AM - 12:00 PM "THIS SHOW HAS GONE OVER-BORED"

11:02 Karen and Lennox resume their spirited debate on American civil liberties. It’s been six hours. This plot has not moved forward one inch since the day’s first minute. Something’s gotta give.

11:03 What’s Chad Lowe doing in the White House bunker? Ahhh, Lennox’s right hand man, Reed Pollock …

11:05 Nadia complains to Bill about the clearance restrictions placed on Muslim CTU agents. Bill refuses to grant her an exception. Nadia sulks. Which can mean only one thing: She’s totally a mole.

11:06 Graem starts crying like a little baby after Jack removes the plastic bag from his head. It must have been real fun growing up with Jack as a brother. “Give me your Halloween candy, or I’ll stuff this plastic bag over your head.” “I called shotgun, Graem! You probably don’t think I can stuff this towel down your throat, but I can.” Jesus, Jack. Lighten up. It’s your brother. All he did was put tens of millions of people in danger.

11:09 Jack and Graem take a road trip to McCarthy’s headquarters in Simi Valley.

11:16 Shockingly, Jack and Graem haven’t arrived there yet. I thought it took 7 minutes to get everywhere in L.A.

Graem talks to Jack about family loyalty. Jack responds to Graem with, "If I were you, I wouldn't talk about loyalty." Graem totally banged Jack's girlfriend before he married Teri.

11:17 Fayed calls McCarthy and his annoying girlfriend Rita (who reminds me way too much of Kim) to ask about the new triggerman. So Fayed’s plan rests on the eccentricities of a saucy Aussie? Ehhhh …

11:19 Morris gets fussy with Nadia because she’s “backed up” with the clearance restrictions. Milo asks Buchanan about the problem, and Bill tells him about the Muslim agent background checks. Milo reveals that Nadia’s a registered Republican. Which can mean only one thing: She’s totally a mole.

11:22 Walid asks his new terrorist detainee friends about the other four nukes. They know nothing. Worthless.

11:23 Lennox blackmails Karen and demands her resignation. Karen’s only response? “What are you smoking?” She then promptly decides to resign. Karen is one brilliant in-fighter, isn’t she? Grow some balls. Wait a minute. Fighting this would only prolong this tedious debate and bureaucratic mumbo-jumbo. Just resign already.

11:31 Jack and Graem arrive at McCarthy’s building in Simi Valley in roughly 20 minutes. They break into McCarthy’s office, where Jack discovers James Cromwell hiding with two hit men. Dear old Dad didn’t report the stolen nukes because he didn’t want to see his boy Grae go to prison.

11:33 Karen quits like the loser she is. Wayne insists she stay on so that he has different points of view from his advisors. Wayne is so much like President Bush, it’s frightening.

Palmer is ordering military transport for Karen to CTU Los Angeles. I believe D.C. to L.A. is roughly 5 hours. So I guess she'll be getting there by about 2:00pm.

11:36 Reed realizes Karen is out as National Security Advisor. MacNichol’s delivery is so good: “Thank .. you.”

11:40 Walid is instructed to steal the phone Heydar the Horrible is carrying. And he pick pockets him! When did Walid become such an expert pickpocket? Reminiscent of last year’s ludicrous scene in which Chloe steals Miles’ CTU ID right out of his shirt pocket to escape to Bill’s house.

11:41 Agent Samuel calls CTU and inexplicably knows Chloe on a first-name basis when she picks up. Anyway … I’m sorry, you’re telling me that Heydar hasn’t already realized his phone is missing? He would have his hand on his phone every second. And he doesn’t realize it’s gone yet? Walid is so dead. It's too bad nobody cares …

11:44 Chloe discovers that none of the numbers in Heydar’s phone are connected to terrorists. In fact, the phone’s browser has logged onto a terrorist website where they most likely obtained all their information. How many people actually use the web browser on their cell phone? Oh, that’s right -- nobody. (Except Smock. And Jack. And only 16.4% of Americans, according to Monday’s Wall Street Journal.)

But these dudes are not terrorists. So racial profiling and internment camps don’t work!

11:45 Retard Heydar realizes his phone is missing after 17 minutes. Presumed, and now cleared, terrorists, begin beating the shit out of Walid. Why didn’t this dumb fuck just hand Heydar his phone and tell him he must have dropped it over there? How ridiculous … Sandra Palmer runs in to take care of Walid.

11:51 Question: When did Chloe become Field Ops Coordinator? Isn't that Curtis' jo -- Oh. Right ...

11:55 Question: I’m looking at Phillip Bauer. I’m looking at Jack Bauer. I’m looking at Graem Bauer. Phillip is at least two feet taller than either of them. Is Jack’s mom some sort of bridge-dwelling troll? Where did Papa Bauer’s genes go?

11:56 Graem mentions that Jack never did care for family and brings up Teri’s name. It’s going to be quite an awkward Thanksgiving at the Bauer household once this whole thing blows over.

Phillip finally gives in to Jack and agrees to contact CTU with the information. Graem disagrees and turns on both Jack and his father. Is this supposed to be shocking?

11:57 McCarthy and Rita have checked into a motel. Honestly, who cares?

11:58 Graem’s men lead Jack and his father out of the building past the now dead CTU agents in the parking lot. CTU really needs to start a training program for its Peripheral Agent Characters. They’re always getting murdered and whatnot.

11:59 Graem tells his henchmen to call him when “it’s done” as they load Jack and his father into the back of a van. Doesn’t Graem want to oversee his brother executed? Dude! If your brother can escape Secret Service, the Chinese, and a group of Muslim extremists, what chance do these two pot-bellied rent-a-cops stand against Jack?

SPOILER ALERT: I’ve seen Jack get loaded into the back of a van many times before. Something tells me he’s going to escape. Sorry to ruin that for you. Seriously, put me to sleep already.

11:59:58 ... 11:59:59 ... 12:00:00.