2:00 PM - 3:00 PM "I THINK JACK'S DAD IS A BAD GUY"

2:02 Fayed arrives on the roof of some building in a chopper. Where is he stopping? And wouldn’t CTU notice an unauthorized chopper flying through L.A.’s skies?

2:03 Fayed calls up Gredenko. Gredenko mentions that the delivery systems are on route and have left Nevada.

2:04 Convenient. Fayed left his laptop in the building. CTU always finds a useful laptop when they need it, don’t they?

2:06 Why is everyone staring at Jack so awkwardly? Bill mentions that Graem’s body is in the morgue. I love that CTU has a prison, a morgue, and a clinic, but apparently no cafeteria.

2:07 How is Phillip Bauer able to operate inside CTU alone with no supervision? So now he’s killed his son and is erasing his call log? And would that even matter? Don’t phone companies keep call records anyway?

2:08 Cromwell tells Jack that “Whatever your brother may have done, he didn’t deserve this.” I’m going to have to disagree with you there, Pops. Stealing his brother’s girl while Jack was overseas. Assassinating a former president and two federal agents. Smuggling in twenty canisters of deadly nerve gas. Conspiring with the President to help assassinate a Russian president. Sending his brother off to a Chinese prison. Masterminding yet another plot with five suitcase nukes on U.S. soil. Yes. Yes, he did.

2:09 Cromwell is pure evil. “Whatever you need to know died with him.” Are you kidding?

2:10 “Josh is taking the death of his father pretty hard. Leave him alone, Jack. Let him grieve in peace.” So not only did he murder his own son, but he’s letting his other son take the blame and guilt on himself. Phillip Bauer, ladies and gentlemen. Once again, Father of the Year …

2:11 Chloe visits Morris. Morris whines about how he’s responsible for the nukes. Chloe says, “You can’t blame yourself.” I’m going to have to disagree with you there, Potato Face. He actually did reprogram the detonator, enabling Fayed to set off three other nuclear bombs. So yes. Yes, he actually can.

2:12 Phillip once again makes an untraceable phone call inside CTU. If only CTU was able to intercept calls inside its own building … Any time Fayed makes a call to someone miles away, CTU picks it up in a second, but Cromwell has some magic phone. Cromwell wants Gredenko killed. Wow, customer service really does come first at BXJ.

2:13 Bill tells Jack that the toxicology report shows that the hyocine-pentathol caused Graem’s coronary. But wouldn’t that also show that there was more of the drug in Graem’s system than Jack ordered Burke to administer? Oh, who has time for details?

2:14 Jack tells Bill that he “lost control. I tried to tell you I didn’t think I could do this. This job. I wanted to kill my brother.” I’m glad the writers are coming back to this plotline – the fact that Jack wasn’t ready to do field work, let alone have any semblance of a normal life after 18 months in a Chinese prison. At least they didn’t just drop it like that whole heroin addiction thing in Season 3 …

2:15 Bill tells Jack he’ll just alter the report. After all, they did cover up Jack’s death two years ago. Apparently, CTU Division will believe anything.

2:21 Vice-President Daniels calls Wayne to voice his displeasure with the President’s decision. “And you hope to obtain that by letting a known terrorist leader address the public on American airwaves? The man has murdered countless innocents over the past twenty years, and you are putting the hope for this country’s safety on him.” Well, when you put it THAT way …

2:23 This is a great scene between Assad and Wayne – both leaders choosing an unpopular course. Why isn’t Wayne listening to him? Does Wayne remember anything about his brother’s administration? You know, the one where his cabinet rebelled, he was targeted for assassination twice, and he was threatened with political blackmail? Oh, guess not.

2:25 Lennox is too smart to conspire with Reed, going into this blind. If he helps, he’ll screw them over somehow. Reed needs the President’s itinerary? What itinerary? Don’t they do all major speeches from the bunker now?

2:31 Jack offers condolences to Marilyn. This isn’t awkward at all. “So, uh, sorry there about torturing and killing your husband …”

2:33 Jack tries extracting information from Marilyn. Honestly, how is Phillip Bauer allowed to slither around CTU like a viper?

2:35 Jack goes to tell Bill about the new lead on Gredenko. Why is Jack asking Bill for permission to follow up the lead? What happened to all that talk about “not working for CTU anymore?” Jack Bauer doesn’t ask permission from anyone.

2:36 Phillip quizzes Marilyn about where she’s going with Jack. Marilyn asks Phillip to stay with Josh, and he insists that he take Josh out of CTU. I’m sure this will end well.

2:38 Jack ignores his dad creepily watching them through the window and tells Marilyn, “I promise not to put you in any danger.” Sure. That’s like Paris Hilton telling a guy, “I promise not to give you the clap.”

2:43 Morris throws a pity party for himself, and Chloe smacks the shit out of him. Morris responds by saying, “If you’re going to try and save a bloke, save someone who’s worth it.” What a pussy! And Chloe doesn’t take kindly to pussies.

2:45 Jack drives Marilyn to the neighborhood where she thinks she once followed Garem to Gredenko’s house. Marilyn makes awkward small talk with Jack during their trip down Memory Lane “I can’t imagine what you went through in China.” Nice ice-breaker, Toots.

2:47 Cromwell is the devil. He calls Marilyn and confesses to Graem’s death and threatens to murder his grandson. “I already lost a son today. Don’t make me lose a grandson.” Phillip Bauer, ladies and gentlemen. Grandfather of the Year …

2:48 Just tell Jack about the plot, Marilyn! Why is every female on this show so fucking stupid? It’s just your kid. He’ll escape in some zany plot a few hours from now anyway.

2:49 Gredenko says, “Arabs serve a purpose. Our country lost the Cold War because it was afraid to use these weapons. Today we will correct this mistake, and the Arabs will take all the blame.” I love that 24 never comes out and just blames Islamic fundamentalists outright. It’s actually the Russians who are evil, using the Muslim extremists as pawns. Lousy Russians.

2:53 Morris decides to grow a pair and come back to work. Jesus, I know you just had a hole drilled in your back, but button up your shirt, you sassy bastard. CTU has a “No Chest Hair” policy for all agents. Or does someone need to brush up on their Employee Handbook?

2:54 Phillip takes Josh to a hotel. This whole thing is going to end badly. He’s blonde. His last name is Bauer. The kid is a ticking time bomb. It’s only a matter of time before cousin Kim comes to the rescue.

2:55 After giving Jack and the team the wrong address, Marilyn decides to fess up as they move in. What a lazy and weak plot device. Shit or get off the pot, honey. Either tell him or don’t, but don’t just stand there whining, “But, ooooh, Jack, there’s, ummm, something I, ahhh, need, errrr, to tell you …”

2:57 Why does Jack always refuse to wear a vest? Noone’s questioning your manhood, Jack. You don’t have to prove anything to anyone. Bomb! Jack sure can jump headfirst through a window better than anyone on television.

2:58 Milo takes Marilyn in the van to escape. Pretty nifty stunt driving with that big old van. Milo turns out to be a badass. Score – grenades! I really wish Milo had just thrown one at them instead of blowing up the van. You know, really knock them on their asses.

2:59 Jack calls for EMT. Holy. Shit.

2:59:58 … 2:59:59 … 3:00:00