12:00 PM - 1:00 PM "BROUGHT TO YOU BY PHILLIP-MORRIS"
12:02 A local reporter stands on the edge of the “safe zone.” So reporters on the Gulf coast report from the middle of hurricanes. Reporters in Southern California report from the edge of nuclear radiation fallout. They do have one thing in common though. They’re all fucking idiots.
12:03 President Palmer knows that Lennox is up to no good. But honestly, MacNicol is the show’s rookie of the year. Great character and perfect casting. While I don’t mind the back-and-forth on this debate, we need to wrap it up. Palmer’s calling the cabinet together to discuss the suspension of habeas corpus, and Tom is giddy as a school girl. Which can only mean one thing: There’s no way Wayne goes for this.
12:05 Karen tells Bill she’s resigned and can’t talk about it right now. Then she hangs up on him and doesn’t pick up his call. Ehhhh, trouble in paradise?
12:06 Chloe tells Bill that Jack has gone dark. Bill just blankly stares at Chloe and, with the look of an amused and knowing father, Bill basically says, “I’m sure he’ll turn up sooner or later.” They don’t even worry about Jack anymore. The man has come back from the dead like seven times. He’ll be fine …
12:07 Jack and Papa Bauer share a moment in the back of a van before being executed. Phillip tells Jack that he built the family for him. Why? So he could torture them?
12:08 Knowing that Phillip is in cahoots with Graem, I have a question. Are the two hit men in on this? And if not, how is there any guarantee that Phillip and Jack escape this? Was the original plan to just kill Jack and not Phillip? Did Phillip shoot the other hit man because he knew too much? And why would the hit men agree to this plan knowing full well they would be shot?
12:09 I love that the writers almost gloss over Jack and his father’s amazing escape. In Season 2, Jack’s escape from the men trying to blow up CTU was like a 15-minute battle that took an entire episode to cover. They took care of these fuckers in 15 seconds. Please … Jack picks up his 18th cell phone of the day off the dead goon.
12:10 McCarthy calls Fayed and tells him that he’s found “someone” to help arm the other nukes, but that he’ll have to be coerced. Hm, wonder who it could be …
12:15 Five minutes later, using their magical “Chatter Detector,” CTU intercepts the phone call between McCarthy and Fayed. Makes you wonder how Jack wasn’t able to nail Nina in the first four episodes of Season 1.
12:16 Wow, CTU even intercepted a “data image” of the prospective engineer. How effin’ convenient! Why don’t they just hop in their time machine and go back six hours and take out Fayed?
12:17 Marilyn senses that “something is wrong.” Gee, honey, have you met your husband?
12:18 Josh is angry about Uncle Jack arresting his dad. He’s going to do something stupid. I can feel it. Classic case of an 11-year-old outsmarting a CTU field ops team.
12:20 Marilyn tells Jack that she “knows what happens when [he] tries to protect people.” But does she know what happens to Jack’s family members and loved ones when they get debriefed at CTU? I’m sure nothing bad will happen to either of them at all.
12:24 CTU always amazes me with their magic technology. Burke tells Jack that Graem’s “perspiration and temperature patterns indicate deception, especially his last reply.” That’s funny. My bullshit detector is also indicating bullshit, especially this last scene. And as if Jack needed a “machine” to tell him if someone is lying …
12:24 Uh oh. It’s that creepy silver Torture Box! Remember when they used that on Gayel. And Audrey. And Heller’s son. And Henderson.
12:28 Morris’ brother has radiation exposure in Valencia? Morris decides to call the hospital but doesn’t try his brother’s cell phone? Isn’t that the first thing you would call? And how did McCarthy get inside CTU’s system to post the report about Morris’ brother? And what were the chances Milo would catch it? This plot isn’t at all like Adam’s sister being exposed to the weaponized virus in Season 3. Or Edgar’s mother being exposed to nuclear power plant radiation in Season 4. Ulllll.
12:31 Burke administers 2cc’s of hyocine-pentothal. Poison, people. Pure poison.
12:33 Jack wants 8 total cc’s – enough to make Grae stroke out. Honestly, for as many torture scenes as they’ve done, you have to hand it to the writers. This is probably the most wrenching ever. Even though they only revealed it two episodes ago, Jack holding his brother’s head as he tortures him is wrenching.
12:34 Graem fesses up about the assassination of President Palmer, Tony Almeida, Michelle Dessler, and pulling Jack out of hiding only to give him up to the Chinese. This sounds even more absurd when the characters spell it out.
12:40 Walid and Sandra get back to the “time filler” storyline. How could the writers have botched this plot so badly? They’re usually great at these topical storylines involving torture, interrogation and racial profiling. But this plot is garbage, and these characters are garbage. Plus, why doesn’t CTU investigate the website the detainees discovered about the nukes?
12:43 Jack tells Bill about everything Graem has done. Bill’s only response? “Incredible.”
12:44 Jack and Pops talk. Why does Papa Bauer ask for a few minutes alone? Oh, right. Because he’s totally a bad guy.
12:50 Morris rushes out the door to be with his brother Timothy? What exactly does he think he can do? Walk into the blast zone and save him?
12:51 Ahhh, Lennox and Vice-President Noah Daniels are plotting against Palmer. Finally, we’re covering some new ground. We’ve never seen a plot like this. Except for that time Novick and Prescott plotted against Palmer. Or the time Wayne himself plotted against his brother. Or the time Logan took over the presidency from Keeler. Or the time Gardner acted shady around Logan. I just love a fresh storyline!
12:52 Wayne refuses to accept Lennox’s Executive Order 1066 proposal. Is this what qualifies as a twist these days? Everyone saw this coming. Still, Wayne is a badass.
12:54 So the engineer they were after is Morris? This – is – huge! Shocking! Utterly shocking! I fell right on my ass! Are you kidding? Oh, right. Smock called this two episodes ago.
12:55 They take Morris hostage. Couldn’t he literally just jump out of the car? I mean, McCarthy can’t shoot him or Fayed will hunt McCarthy down. Just do it, Morris. Noone likes you anyway.
12:57 Agent Burke should be fired. Isn’t his only job to watch the suspect?
12:58 So Phillip is in on the conspiracy? After all that?! This – is – huge! Shocking! Utterly shocking! I fell right on my ass! Oh, right. No, I didn’t. At all. They’re 0-3 on the twists tonight. Just not doing it for me anymore.
12:59 Graem ensures his father that he won’t give him up at CTU and that he’ll “hold my mud” – the second time this odd phrase has been used in the series, the first coming in Season 2 when Prescott told Mike to “hold his mud” when trying to usurp Palmer.
As predictable a twist as this is, this is heartbreaking. “You’ve been a good boy. You’ve done everything I’ve asked. Only this time, I asked too much. I’m sorry.” Jesus.
But won’t Burke realize that 8cc’s are missing? Won’t they find Phillip’s prints all over everything? So many holes – that will never be filled.
So he gave one son up to the Chinese and murdered the other one. Phillip Bauer, ladies and gentlemen, Father of the Year …
12:59:58 … 12:59:59 … 1:00:00
3 comments:
I love this show, but I do sit there lately during almost every scene like this: (Jack and Phil escape the hitmen by karate chopping them) Me out loud: "Not believeable."
Phil needs a second to talk to his son, alone. Me: "Not believable."
Morris has been shady all season. Now he's ditching CTU in their time of need to see his brother. Hey, this is a national tragedy, you can't leave you shady fuck! There he goes...oh, McCarthy kidnaps him. Me: "That's believeable...NOT."
The writers think they can just blow up a nuke and us viewers will not pay any attention to detail. Think again.
Look, I don't have any hobbies or a girlfriend, so all I do is have the time to PAY ATTENTION TO DETAIL.
Work a little harder writers, for my sake.
I'm really not sure about Cromwell (sorry, Daddy Bauer doesn't work for me) being left out in the cold ... I would assume the plan required Jack getting shot in the head, and then everyone laughing. But then why go to the lengths of having Cromwell put in the van at all ... so Jack would die not thinking his Dad was also evil? Seems weak.
"Makes you wonder how Jack wasn’t able to nail Nina in the first four episodes of Season 1." - Simple, because Soul Patch wouldn't stop glaring at them. Otherwise you can rest assured that Jack would have been nailing Nina in his office.
Donnelly, agreed. It's been too much too fast. Although I don't think Morris is shady so much as he is annoying and eccentric. The writers have a history of walking a fine line with these CTU characters. Paula bit the dust in the CTU explosion too early in Season 2 for her to get on my nerves. Adam was a constant pain in my ass in Season 3. (I'm glad his sister died. There, I said it.) Chloe and Edgar are obviously the two prime examples of eccentric characters working well, and Morris is falling somewhere in the middle. He needs to shape up quickly for me to take his character seriously.
Smock, by "nail," I was, of course, referring to "Jack intercepting a transmission or call between Nina and her shady third-party German terrorist contractor," which CTU apparently wasn't capable of ten or so years ago during the show's first season. Not the actual act of Jack "fucking" Nina in his office -- which is, I'm assuming, what you are insinuating. Anyway, Jack had rediscovered his love for Teri by then. You are right though. We never would have suspected Soul Patch the entire season had Jack "nailed" Nina early on. It would be, like, realistic or something.
Post a Comment